0-200 in 6 seconds!!

[PeterS]

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.




Bob has been missing since Friday.




This joke is courtesy of my wife.
Should I be concerned ?

[Rusty]

Once I understood it it's really rather funny.

Does my bum look big in this, dear?

No dear, your bum looks big in anything.

[Keeper of The Kitten]

Once I understood it it's really rather funny.

Does my bum look big in this, dear?

No dear, your bum looks big in anything.

Or indeed "does my bum look big in this?"

"Yes, but at least it takes the attention away from your ugly face"

[Rusty]

Nice legs, shame about the boat-race

[Acidburn]

lol that was a good one.

[Graham]

"I think i look fat in this dear, my legs are blotchy, my **** are saggy, and i feel awful. Could you pay me a compliment?" "Yes love your eyesight is perfect"

[Sparks]

"I think i look fat in this dear, my legs are blotchy, my **** are saggy, and i feel awful. Could you pay me a compliment?" "Yes love your eyesight is perfect"

Now *that's* funny!

[Wiell]

haha

rolf

[aelred]

Two blokes at the airport.
One says "I lost my wife" the other responds "So have I!"
One says "what does your wife look like?"
"she is gorgeous, tall, slim, big t*ts, wearing thongs and suspenders"
"Ok forget mine, lets go and find yours"

[spink]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOYnTZseDYo

[topsparky]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOYnTZseDYo

funny as **** mate
can stop laughing

[s2_bo]

Pmsl!