Friday joke

[AndersS2]

Where does the three legged horse live?
-in the unstable.

[Bowlerwell]

There are 2 fish in a tank.
One says to the other,
"Do you know how to drive this thing?".

[Acidburn]

I've just renamed my WiFi network to "Police Surveillance Van #02".

That should keep my pikey neighbours on their toes for a while.

[pixsaudisex2]

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot..

One is a Australian animal. The other is a Geordie stuck in a lift.


Its old but makes me laugh.

[Error404]

Talking to a girl last night in a bar, I said to her
"I can guarantee you're going to have sex tonight."

She replied
"How do you know that?"

I said
"Because I'm much stronger than you"

[djh]

Post Office: Two words with a thousand letters.

[benntenn67]

* Why was the beach wet ?? .............. "cos the sea wee'd"


* courtesy of my youngest

[orangepeel]

two pikeys a mother and daugher sat in there carvan. the day before the daugher wedding day. mother says you do now he wonts to put his prize possession in your p*sser tomorro nite daugher says why dose he wont to put his transit van in the sink

[orangepeel]

i was tackin to a big fat bird at the pub last nite i said god your a big girl she replied tell me something i dont now . salad tastes nice

[Rikki Kitto]

Talking to a girl last night in a bar, I said to her
"I can guarantee you're going to have sex tonight."

She replied
"How do you know that?"

I said
"Because I'm much stronger than you"

Sick but funny

[vonbeck]

i was sitting on a wall having a minute whilst walking the dog, when this van pulls up, two men got out with a spade each went into the field at the side and one of the guys dug a hole about 12" deep then went to another spot and dug another, whilst he was doing this the other guy fills in the first hole! this goes on for about half an hour, i cant stand it any more so i jumps over the wall goes up to one of them and say" excuse me i`ve been watching you for half an hour now, your digging a hole and your mates following behind you filling it in!what are you doing that for? the bloke turns to me and says i an irish accent well its like this there`s usually three of us on the job but mick who plant`s the trees is on holiday !

[vonbeck]

Talking to a girl last night in a bar, I said to her
"I can guarantee you're going to have sex tonight."

She replied
"How do you know that?"

I said
"Because I'm much stronger than you"

err

[Tony Stark]

i was tackin to a big fat bird at the pub last nite i said god your a big girl she replied tell me something i dont now . salad tastes nice

Whats red and sits in a tree?


A sanitary owl.

[pixsaudisex2]

Talking to a girl last night in a bar, I said to her
"I can guarantee you're going to have sex tonight."

She replied
"How do you know that?"

I said
"Because I'm much stronger than you"

Reminds me of that old chat up line that never fails.
Does this rag smell funny to you

[A1QSHIP]

The three stages of a man's sex life.
Tri-weekly, try weekly & try weakly.