taken from another site:
Here is the correspondance he sent to them in order to manage to get himself (and his neighbours with the same postcode I guess, lol) banned from ever having a parcel delivered to them by any company using parcel2go:
Hello, after getting nowhere on your live chat facility I was told that the courier is awaiting information in order to further the following claim; P2G-CS-362336.
Can you please let me know what is happening with this? It is getting beyond a joke now, it is almost 3 months since that parcel was posted and quite how an organisation can be so utterly inept that they can lose something the size and weight of a car gearbox really is beyond me?
I then got the following reply on the 04/02/2011;
Good Afternoon
Thank you for your e-mail.
Can you please provide me with the P2G number or claim ID this relates to as I am unable to locate this from the email address used to send this email.
Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.
Kindest Regards
Alex Voiels
Parcel2Go.com
I then came in at stupid o'clock in the morning, pissed as a fart and read my emails so sent them this...
You mean the reference that I included on my original email on the 31st of January? The one you have just replied to? How utterly ****ing useless is this 'company' that I am dealing with? It isn't a number as it is alpha-numeric.
You have managed to lose a car gearbox. This is not a light or small item, you have also managed to mess me about via your 'live chat' feature that refers me to your equally as **** customer service department, neither of which know the square root of **** all. Infact, I would go as far as to say that if any member of staff at your utterly useless organisation was asked to give a presentation on wiping their **** that they would show people how to lick their elbow. Your staff clearly cannot differentiate between an **** and an elbow.
I suspect you will send another email asking for some utter ******** that you do not need, you have a tracking system, that shows that you have lost it, a tracking system that works with the code provided. Kindly cough up and stop ****ing me about. It is 3 bloody months since you lost this parcel through incompetence.
Regards, an ******** that has been taken the piss out of by parcels2go.
Here is the code again for anyone stupid enough to have missed it the first time; P2G-CS-362336.
Would you like my inside leg measurement too?
Then I followed it up with this after I noticed something;
Just to add insult to injury I have noticed that the title of the last email you sent me has a completely different claim number in the title than the one I included in my original email which further cements how ***** your company is. You asked me for a claim number but sent a responce with one in the title?
I can only summise that you take the majority of your staff intake from the local childrens home for 'downers' and spastics when natural attrition takes it's toll?
Congratulations, you have been offered a job at Parcels2Go as you have passed the ineptitude test.
Then someone else sends me a reply very early the next morning;
Good Morning
Please be advised that the title of the e-mail is not a claim number but an e-mail number which we use to retrieve e-mails.
This number cannot be used to locate a claim and we still therefore require the information we request in order to progress this case.
We look forward to receiving the information.
Kindest Regards
Sally Chandler
Parcel2Go.com
So I retorted with this;
Hello Sally, I am delighted to see that you can send an email in a prompt fashion unlike Alex who must have spent almost a week trying to attach my email to a carrier pigeon after typing out his response with a stick in his mouth or something?
Stephen Hawkins could have replied faster than he did and he is frigging paralysed.
Sadly, just like Alex it appears that you have an inability to read anything in text as you have also missed the refernce that is included within the emails. I suspect that you are more arsed about trying to work out what all of these missing (sorry, stolen) parcels are so that you can stick them on eBay to top up your pre-payment meter or support your drug habit as you are clearly wasted this morning if you cannot spot the claim number within the emails.
I then got another rapid response;
Good Morning
We are in receipt of your e-mails which can only be described as bigoted and offensive.
Since you are the recipient and not the contract holder in this case, we will not be answering any further correspondence from you.
We are also banning your postcode from our site since we do not want to deal with customers who use the kind of terminology you are obviously so well-versed in.
Please do not contact us again.
Kindest Regards
Sally Chandler
Parcel2Go.com
Then it's me again...
No it isn't a good morning as I am having to chase Retards2Go about a parcel that they have lost.
I note with extreme interest that when I send an 'offensive' (I personally prefer the word honest) e-mail that your levels of service improve exponentially, strange that you can respond to them with such pace?
It is also very strange that you required further details from me yet from the number I twice provided you have done me the honour of banning my postcode and deduced that I am the recipient, so you clearly were just being awkward and bone idle in the first place. Do you remember making this lie 'This number cannot be used to locate a claim'?
The recipient who is the wronged party here due to how ***** your organisation is. I would point out that I may be the recipient but it was myself who paid for the sender to use some third rate company. You have received your money to deliver, sorry, lose a parcel. The sender has received his money and I have received ****** all.
It's a crying shame that I have had to send such e-mails but I hope it's an indication of the sheer ineptitude of every member of staff I have had the displeasure of dealing with.
I hope that this will prompt you to pay out for the claim of a parcel I have been waiting 3 months to receive, I also hope that your organisation folds and every member of your useless staff finds themselves looking for a new job because you sure as hell wouldn't pass any competency based interviews.
Oh and as you have caused me such inconvenience by banning me from your fantastic parcel losing service could you cause me a few other hurdles in life? Maybe send me a few million quid or kill my Mother in law? Idiots. Like I give two squirts of piss that you have banned my postcode from your service? Do you honestly think I would deal with someone who can lose a sodding great big, heavy item for 3 months? It's not invisible.
I then got no replies but I did get a cheque within a few weeks.
So I finished off by sending this:
'Hi Sally, I would just like to send a final message since I received my cheque refund today, strangely with the same reference in the letter that I used throughout this 'conversation' or rather, me giving you lot information whilst you all dribbled on your keyboards.
Anyway, kindly choke on this...
*Was a picture of a huge erect *****
Here is the correspondance he sent to them in order to manage to get himself (and his neighbours with the same postcode I guess, lol) banned from ever having a parcel delivered to them by any company using parcel2go:
Hello, after getting nowhere on your live chat facility I was told that the courier is awaiting information in order to further the following claim; P2G-CS-362336.
Can you please let me know what is happening with this? It is getting beyond a joke now, it is almost 3 months since that parcel was posted and quite how an organisation can be so utterly inept that they can lose something the size and weight of a car gearbox really is beyond me?
I then got the following reply on the 04/02/2011;
Good Afternoon
Thank you for your e-mail.
Can you please provide me with the P2G number or claim ID this relates to as I am unable to locate this from the email address used to send this email.
Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.
Kindest Regards
Alex Voiels
Parcel2Go.com
I then came in at stupid o'clock in the morning, pissed as a fart and read my emails so sent them this...
You mean the reference that I included on my original email on the 31st of January? The one you have just replied to? How utterly ****ing useless is this 'company' that I am dealing with? It isn't a number as it is alpha-numeric.
You have managed to lose a car gearbox. This is not a light or small item, you have also managed to mess me about via your 'live chat' feature that refers me to your equally as **** customer service department, neither of which know the square root of **** all. Infact, I would go as far as to say that if any member of staff at your utterly useless organisation was asked to give a presentation on wiping their **** that they would show people how to lick their elbow. Your staff clearly cannot differentiate between an **** and an elbow.
I suspect you will send another email asking for some utter ******** that you do not need, you have a tracking system, that shows that you have lost it, a tracking system that works with the code provided. Kindly cough up and stop ****ing me about. It is 3 bloody months since you lost this parcel through incompetence.
Regards, an ******** that has been taken the piss out of by parcels2go.
Here is the code again for anyone stupid enough to have missed it the first time; P2G-CS-362336.
Would you like my inside leg measurement too?
Then I followed it up with this after I noticed something;
Just to add insult to injury I have noticed that the title of the last email you sent me has a completely different claim number in the title than the one I included in my original email which further cements how ***** your company is. You asked me for a claim number but sent a responce with one in the title?
I can only summise that you take the majority of your staff intake from the local childrens home for 'downers' and spastics when natural attrition takes it's toll?
Congratulations, you have been offered a job at Parcels2Go as you have passed the ineptitude test.
Then someone else sends me a reply very early the next morning;
Good Morning
Please be advised that the title of the e-mail is not a claim number but an e-mail number which we use to retrieve e-mails.
This number cannot be used to locate a claim and we still therefore require the information we request in order to progress this case.
We look forward to receiving the information.
Kindest Regards
Sally Chandler
Parcel2Go.com
So I retorted with this;
Hello Sally, I am delighted to see that you can send an email in a prompt fashion unlike Alex who must have spent almost a week trying to attach my email to a carrier pigeon after typing out his response with a stick in his mouth or something?
Stephen Hawkins could have replied faster than he did and he is frigging paralysed.
Sadly, just like Alex it appears that you have an inability to read anything in text as you have also missed the refernce that is included within the emails. I suspect that you are more arsed about trying to work out what all of these missing (sorry, stolen) parcels are so that you can stick them on eBay to top up your pre-payment meter or support your drug habit as you are clearly wasted this morning if you cannot spot the claim number within the emails.
I then got another rapid response;
Good Morning
We are in receipt of your e-mails which can only be described as bigoted and offensive.
Since you are the recipient and not the contract holder in this case, we will not be answering any further correspondence from you.
We are also banning your postcode from our site since we do not want to deal with customers who use the kind of terminology you are obviously so well-versed in.
Please do not contact us again.
Kindest Regards
Sally Chandler
Parcel2Go.com
Then it's me again...
No it isn't a good morning as I am having to chase Retards2Go about a parcel that they have lost.
I note with extreme interest that when I send an 'offensive' (I personally prefer the word honest) e-mail that your levels of service improve exponentially, strange that you can respond to them with such pace?
It is also very strange that you required further details from me yet from the number I twice provided you have done me the honour of banning my postcode and deduced that I am the recipient, so you clearly were just being awkward and bone idle in the first place. Do you remember making this lie 'This number cannot be used to locate a claim'?
The recipient who is the wronged party here due to how ***** your organisation is. I would point out that I may be the recipient but it was myself who paid for the sender to use some third rate company. You have received your money to deliver, sorry, lose a parcel. The sender has received his money and I have received ****** all.
It's a crying shame that I have had to send such e-mails but I hope it's an indication of the sheer ineptitude of every member of staff I have had the displeasure of dealing with.
I hope that this will prompt you to pay out for the claim of a parcel I have been waiting 3 months to receive, I also hope that your organisation folds and every member of your useless staff finds themselves looking for a new job because you sure as hell wouldn't pass any competency based interviews.
Oh and as you have caused me such inconvenience by banning me from your fantastic parcel losing service could you cause me a few other hurdles in life? Maybe send me a few million quid or kill my Mother in law? Idiots. Like I give two squirts of piss that you have banned my postcode from your service? Do you honestly think I would deal with someone who can lose a sodding great big, heavy item for 3 months? It's not invisible.
I then got no replies but I did get a cheque within a few weeks.
So I finished off by sending this:
'Hi Sally, I would just like to send a final message since I received my cheque refund today, strangely with the same reference in the letter that I used throughout this 'conversation' or rather, me giving you lot information whilst you all dribbled on your keyboards.
Anyway, kindly choke on this...
*Was a picture of a huge erect *****
Comment