Friday joke

[PeteRR]

A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. He says to the vet that he must help his dog, he's gone cross eyed.

The vet picks up the dog, checks in his ears, looks at his eyes and checks his teeth. "Its no use" says the vet, "I'lll have to put him down".

"Why" says the man, "is he dying?".

"No" replies the vet, "he's too heavy"!!!!

[PeteRR]

A man goes to the doctors saying "Doc, you've got to help me, I've got 5 pen1ses!"

"Really" says the doctor, "how do your trousers fit?"

"Like a glove" the man replies!

[220bhp]

bought a new camera today one of the latest fast shutter type its so fast i think it caught my wife with her mouth shut.[running for cover now bi ]

[Jamo]

Button injured in horrific F1 accident...

Button injured in horrific F1 accident...

[Jas11n]

[Greg_S]

LMAO @Jamo, I shouldnt laugh at that one but on a friday at this time it is hilarious

[Mark Halligan]

Apologies if this offends anyone ...........

A rugged cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, Wyoming, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, You have HIV."

The cowboy tugs at his Stetson and sets his jaw and says, "Doc, what can I do?".

The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

The cowboy squares his rugged shoulders and asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your **** is for."

[CHEN]

A piece of tarmac walks into a bar and demands a free free pint of beer as he is the hardest piece of tarmac around. The barman refuses saying "I dont care how hard you are no one gets a free pint in this pub"

So the piece of tarmac pays for his pint angrily and sits down. As soon as he does a red piece of tarmac walks in and asks for a free pint.

"n-n-no p-p-problem s-s-sir" says the barman as he poors the pint with shakey hands.
The red tarmac drinks his pints and leaves.

The other piece of tarmac storms to the bar "You said no one gets a free pint no matter how hard they are!"

The Barman replies "I know but that ones a real cyclepath!"

[Jamo]

Special on Pirate Earrings!
A buck an ear!

[fidoe]

horse walks into a bar and orders a pint

barman says: "Why the long face?"