good joke that couldn't wait till friday

[ottawa coupe]

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-*** guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says,

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

[snikkel]

hahah awsome :mischeif:

[s2_bo]

LO.l. nice

[rotoryboy]

This is definitly a joke linky

[HPmuirt]

I don't understand why the sad little chavs do that to any car but if they must do it all, why not stick to the Clio and the Nova? At least then they are not mutilating a good car

Surely the style police should be called in when ever a yob with his jeans round his knees and his cap on backwards (or worse still, his hood up) tries to buy an Audi. They should step out of the shadows and declare....

"I I.....SORRY SONNY BOY, BUT HU-YOU IS A CHAV! YOU IS NOT HULLOWED TO PUR-CHASE SUCH A FINE HEX-ARMPLE OF A MOTA VE-HICKLE, SUCH AS THIS. HUH-YOU 'AD BETTA RUN HALONG AND GET YOURSELF A NOVA HAND SOME SPINNA-S...NOW 'OPPIT!"

Cheers n

Si
(Supporter of the style police)

[A6 2,7Biturbo]

'The only one on the planet' says the seller
crazy f***

[Ski]

Im gonna go for one of these custom jobbies..

[Floppy]

[Keeper of The Kitten]

Why the **** do people insist on doing shrouded headlamps?!!

I love modified cars but if you go to all that trouble and end up with a pile of cack it sort of defeats the object...

__MDC__

[WabTheKing]

whats yellow and runs off a 13amp plug?

[WabTheKing]

george best.

[Sidspud]

whats yellow and runs off a 13amp plug?

Oh dear - I'm ashamed to say that I laughed at that one!

[Greenm3]

Keeping with the theme:...
Whats Grey sits at the end of the bed and takes the pi$$???



A kidney Dyalisis machine

[AL80]

Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening well battered, as he
often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed
wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" Demanded
Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".

The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".

Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to
live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me
back straight away".

St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We
can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Brian was devasted, but
knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent
back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and
clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until
he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how
are you enjoying your first day here?"

"It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside
like I'm about to explode".

"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never
laid an egg before".

"Never" replies Brian

"Well just relax and let it happen"

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops
out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and
his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the
first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was
overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best
thing that ever happened to him... ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting "Brian, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the bed"

[s2_bo]

Lmao!