You can change the style the forum displays by selecting your preferred style at the bottom left of the site.
We have made an enhancement so that old threads should now link from search results to the correct thread. This is not yet in place for single post links
a bloke goes into a chemist and says to the pharmacist "two bottles of meths please" the pharmacist says your not going to drink it are you sir, of course not, replies the man what do you think i am. but could i have two out of the fridge!!! i thank you
ABY Cricket Green Pearl Coupe, blk leather
THE ONLY TROUBLE WITH DOING NOTHING IS KNOWING WHEN YOUR FINISHED!!!
Mary's dishwasher stopped working so she called the repairman.Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the doormat. Fix the dishwasher, please, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll post the cheque to you as soon as I come home."
After thinking for a moment, she added, "By the way, don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances whatsoever, talk to my parrot. I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Mary's house the next day, he discovered the largest, meanest-looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as Mary had told him, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him completely nuts the whole time with his incessant screeching, cursing and name-calling. Finally, the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "GO GET HIM, SPIKE!"
Ant
2007 Mk5 Golf GTi, 3 door, DSG, REVO Stg 2 and other goodies
2011 Kawasaki Z1000
the female gorrila at chester zoo is being really agressive, so the keeper gets the vet in who after a quick examination concludes she`s on heat and it will probably last for another four weeks he also goes on to say that there isn`t a male anywhere in the uk, so after 10 mins of head scratching the keeper spies paddy[sorry] cleaning out the rhino compound. he goes over and says to paddy "for £500 will you s*~g the gorrila, paddy leans on his shovel and thinks for a minute or two and says yes but on three exceptions. one, no kissing. two, nobody ever has to find out. and three. can he have a fortnight to save up the £500.........
ABY Cricket Green Pearl Coupe, blk leather
THE ONLY TROUBLE WITH DOING NOTHING IS KNOWING WHEN YOUR FINISHED!!!
the female gorrila at chester zoo is being really agressive, so the keeper gets the vet in who after a quick examination concludes she`s on heat and it will probably last for another four weeks he also goes on to say that there isn`t a male anywhere in the uk, so after 10 mins of head scratching the keeper spies paddy[sorry] cleaning out the rhino compound. he goes over and says to paddy "for £500 will you s*~g the gorrila, paddy leans on his shovel and thinks for a minute or two and says yes but on three exceptions. one, no kissing. two, nobody ever has to find out. and three. can he have a fortnight to save up the £500.........
Now explain the first one!
Ant
2007 Mk5 Golf GTi, 3 door, DSG, REVO Stg 2 and other goodies
2011 Kawasaki Z1000
a prostitute can't pay her taxi fare, show shows the driver her fanny and asked "will this do to settle the bill"
"feckin hell" replies the taxi driver
"have you got anything smaller"
1. SHORT SHIFT KIT
2. PORSCHE CAYENNE CALIPERS
3. H & R SPRINGS
4. BILSTEIN SHOXS
5. NEW BUSHES AND HP2 STRUTS
6. UPRATED HIGH OUTPUT COIL PACK
7. ,3" turbo back s/s/ exhaust
8. fmic fitted
Two women are walking home from a night out when they both get caught short and have to go to the toilet in the graveyard. But with no toilet paper the one woman uses her knickers and the other uses a wreath!
A few days later both their husbands are having a chat and the one guy says, "I'm a bit worried about the mrs, she came home the other night with no knickers on!"
To which the other chap replied, "That's nothing, I found a card in the wife's **** saying Thanks for the memories and good luck from all the boys!!"
'93 S4 Avant now back on the road complete with new shiny go faster bits.
Two women are walking home from a night out when they both get caught short and have to go to the toilet in the graveyard. But with no toilet paper the one woman uses her knickers and the other uses a wreath!
A few days later both their husbands are having a chat and the one guy says, "I'm a bit worried about the mrs, she came home the other night with no knickers on!"
To which the other chap replied, "That's nothing, I found a card in the wife's **** saying Thanks for the memories and good luck from all the boys!!"
We process personal data about users of our site, through the use of cookies and other technologies, to deliver our services, personalize advertising, and to analyze site activity. We may share certain information about our users with our advertising and analytics partners. For additional details, refer to our Privacy Policy.
By clicking "I AGREE" below, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our personal data processing and cookie practices as described therein. You also acknowledge that this forum may be hosted outside your country and you consent to the collection, storage, and processing of your data in the country where this forum is hosted.
Tweet
Comment