Suicide, Homicide or Accident?

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  • HPmuirt
    S2Forum April Fool
    • Apr 2005
    • 3014
    • Home: United Kingdom Current: England

    #1

    Suicide, Homicide or Accident?

    Just transferring old files off one of the old PC's and found this supposedly true story. Whether true or not, it cracks me up every time I read it......

    On March 23 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound of the head caused by a shotgun.

    Investigation to that point had revealed that the decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent to commit suicide (he left a note indicating his despondency). As he passed the 9th floor on the way down, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, killing him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been erected at the 8th floor level to protect some window washers and that the decedent would not have been able to complete his intent to commit suicide because of this.

    Ordinarily, if a person sets out to commit suicide but dies by means other than those intended, the death is deemed a suicide. That he was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not change his mode of death from suicide to homicide. But the fact that his suicide would not have been achieved because of the net caused the medical examiner to feel that he had homicide on his hands.

    Further investigation led to the discovery that the room on the 9th floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. He was threatening her with the shotgun because of an interspousal spat and became so upset that he could not hold the shotgun straight. Therefore, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking the decedent.

    When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. The old man was confronted with this conclusion, but both he and his wife were adamant in stating that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. It was the longtime habit of the old man to threaten his wife with an unloaded shotgun. He had no intent to murder her; therefore, the killing of the decedent appeared to be an accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

    But further investigation turned up a witness stating that their son was seen loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal accident. That investigation showed that the mother (the old lady) had cut off her son's financial support and her son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that the father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus. Further investigation revealed that the son became increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to get his mother murdered. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a 9th story window.

    The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

    Cheers n

    Si
    95 ABY S2 Coupe - Ragusa Green
    Subtle mods here and there


    2011 A5 3.0 TDi - Lava Grey
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  • bazookachicken
    S2Forum Enthusiast
    • Jul 2006
    • 157
    • Home: United Kingdom Current: England

    #2
    Quality that's one for the darwin awards
    1995 S2 Avant
    Homefries,
    RS2 intercooler,
    996 monoblocks,
    Koni adjustable shocks,
    H&R springs,
    18" RS6 reps in anthracite.
    150K and running great

    Comment

    • Jamo
      Retired OG Mod
      • Mar 2004
      • 21750
      • Country: United Kingdom

      #3
      Lmao!

      Comment

      • Markarina
        S2Forum Maniac
        • Mar 2006
        • 511
        • Home: United Kingdom Current: Switzerland

        #4
        .... here is the answer to the question.

        The site also has the story about the lady and the lobster .......

        Comment

        • volcano rs
          S2Forum Fiend
          • Jun 2005
          • 2265
          • Country: United Kingdom

          #5
          what do you think of this one ?
          one evening after attending the theatre , two men were walking down the street when they saw a well dressed attractive young woman walking just ahead of them. one turned to other and said i'd give 50 quid to spend the night with that woman.
          to their surprise the woman turned and said i'll take you up on that.
          after bidding his friend goodnight the man accompanied the woman to her apartment ,wher they immediately went to bed .the following morning the man presented her with 25 quid as he prepared to leave .
          if you don't give me the other 25 quid i'll sue you for it ,said the woman.
          the man just laughed and said ,i'd like to see you get it on these grounds .
          the next day he was surprised when he was served with a summons ordering his presence in court as defendent . he hurried to his lawyer and explained the details of the case .
          his lawyer said, she can't possibly get a judgement against you on such grounds,but it will be interesting to see how her case will be presented .
          after the usual preliminaries ,the womans lawyer addressed the court as follows. your honour ,my client is the owner of a piece of property , a garden spot surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery , which property she agreed to rent to the defended for a specified length of time for the sum of £50 . the defendent took posession of the property , used it extensively for the purpose for which it was rented , but upon evacuating the premises tendered only £25 . the rent is not excessive since it was restricted property ,and we ask judgement to be granted against the defendent to assure payment of the balance .
          the defendents lawyer was impressed and amused at the way the case had been presented .his defence was therefore somewhat altered from what he had planned .
          your honour ,he responded my client agrees the young lady has a fine piece of property ,for a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction . however ,my client found a well on the property ,around which he placed his own stones , sank a shaft and erected a pump , all labour being personally performed by him . we claim these improvements to the property are sufficient to offset the unpaid balance ,and that the plaintiff was adequately compensated for the rental of the said property. we therefore ask that the judgement not be granted .
          the young womans lawyer's comeback was this : your honour my client agrees that the defendent did find a well on the property ,and he did make improvements such as described by my opponent ; however , had the defendent not known the well existed , he would never have rented the property ; also ,on evacuating the premises , the defendent moved the stones , pulled out the shaft and took the pump with him . in so doing he not only dragged his equipment through the shrubbery , but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy , making it easily accessible to little children . we therefore ask that the judgement be granted .

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