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She has just rung in a flap... Engine made a 'pop' sound and 'its smoking really badly'... Oh and it 'sounds funny'. Now I know what nonsense the help desks of the world have to deal with - describe it better darling I haven't a clue how to diagnose this fault from what you are saying. Course she is mega stressed with the sitch as its 10pm and pouring with rain.
She is stranded on the hard shoulder of a feckin motorway and I'm stuck in the house with the kids. Did I renew the RAC membership like I should have - did I hell
So I'm trying to get her to describe the noise and the smell - its just oily smoke she says. There is nothing leaking underneath but it doesn't drive right and the smoke is bad. So I'm sitting there wondering what the heck is wrong - and my mind is reeling over - did we really nip up all those timing belts - has it blown a gasket? She says there is no rattley sound but I'm bricking it here...
She rings her brother - thankfully he is in and able to get up the road to help. And I sit with two kids in the house wondering what the hell is broken on the family bus.
Time passes....
He is just off the phone to tell me an intercooler hose has blown off. Its the hose going into the intercooler. Because that engine has PCV and EGR systems there was all sorts of exhaust fumes and oil vapour coming out the grille - hence the generic term of 'smoke' from herself. Jaysus.
Talk about relieved !
Two lessons here folks ---
1. If in doubt about reusing any jubilee clips (and I was with that one) then replace them. I actually remember being very careful not to overtighten it. I spent hundreds on parts for that major service and forget new jubilee clips on the turbo hoses - ****.
2. Keep your AA/RAC/whoever membership up to date.
3. Actually the 3rd lesson is just not to answer the phone when the missus is out in the car on her own - I can't handle the stress
Alls well that ends well but my heart rate hasn't slowed down yet
Paul
She is stranded on the hard shoulder of a feckin motorway and I'm stuck in the house with the kids. Did I renew the RAC membership like I should have - did I hell
So I'm trying to get her to describe the noise and the smell - its just oily smoke she says. There is nothing leaking underneath but it doesn't drive right and the smoke is bad. So I'm sitting there wondering what the heck is wrong - and my mind is reeling over - did we really nip up all those timing belts - has it blown a gasket? She says there is no rattley sound but I'm bricking it here...
She rings her brother - thankfully he is in and able to get up the road to help. And I sit with two kids in the house wondering what the hell is broken on the family bus.
Time passes....
He is just off the phone to tell me an intercooler hose has blown off. Its the hose going into the intercooler. Because that engine has PCV and EGR systems there was all sorts of exhaust fumes and oil vapour coming out the grille - hence the generic term of 'smoke' from herself. Jaysus.
Talk about relieved !
Two lessons here folks ---
1. If in doubt about reusing any jubilee clips (and I was with that one) then replace them. I actually remember being very careful not to overtighten it. I spent hundreds on parts for that major service and forget new jubilee clips on the turbo hoses - ****.
2. Keep your AA/RAC/whoever membership up to date.
3. Actually the 3rd lesson is just not to answer the phone when the missus is out in the car on her own - I can't handle the stress
Alls well that ends well but my heart rate hasn't slowed down yet
Paul
BTDT.
can relate on the hose clips when I changed the aux rad and didnt have any new clips at first 
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