best man speeches

[topsparky]

i've got to be best man @ my bro's wedding on saturday
any ideas for a speech guys
mother in law jokes etc
anything just as an out line that i can adapt
cheers
deano

[Error404]

the only one i ever did i think i offended half the poeple in the room.. the other half were in hysterics... although i did almost get glassed i think, as the half i offended were all scottish

Oh, and don't joke about the bride's turnout - apparently its frowned upon

[topsparky]

was going to use "i told you if you got married to get a thai bride
it's not cos there better looking or better @ sex
it's cos the mother in law is @least 3000 miles away



or
if " my brother's told me if i do a good job this time
i can be best man @ his next wedding "

[Ian Simmonds]

I've done several over the years and the FIRST rule of thumb, it's family affair, be light hearted and witty, and all things to all men, don't go 'off-side' the in-laws and the 'out-laws' will hate you. if there is something (family acceptable) that's witty about your brothers past that WON'T be embarrassing to him (or worse, his new bride) then go for it, but, boring as it may seem, avoid anything controversial. it'll come back to haunt you....

[Error404]

was going to use "i told you if you got married to get a thai bride
it's not cos there better looking or better @ sex
it's cos the mother in law is @ least 3000 miles away

+ sweatshop labour cuts £800 off the price of the wedding dress

[Ian Simmonds]

I've done several over the years and the FIRST rule of thumb, it's family affair, be light hearted and witty, and all things to all men, don't go 'off-side' the in-laws and the 'out-laws' will hate you. if there is something (family acceptable) that's witty about your brothers past that WON'T be embarrassing to him (or worse, his new bride) then go for it, but, boring as it may seem, avoid anything controversial. it'll come back to haunt you....

AND.......


Don't stand up BLADDERED!!

[Error404]

or smash the glass getting everyones attention... BTDT

[Chris M]

A good one my mate came out with at a friends wedding: (you need to know where they are going on honeymoon and have a friend in the audience to help.)

'' And i wish the bride and groom all the best on their honeymoon in north wales''

Your friend then shouts ''they're not going to wales, they're going to...*destination*

''Are you sure, he told me he was going to Bangor for a week!!!''

[Azman]

Oh dear oh dear oh dear....... how many bad jokes are going to come up now

[GT500]

One of my favorites, Remember a man is incomplete untill married,,,,,,,,,after that he is finished!

[topsparky]

gr8 guys keep em coming

[Matt_D]

When describing the bride say shes funny, intelligent, good looking, has a great sense of humour then say sorry whats thats, act out you cant read the word then turn to the bride and show a bit of paper, then say sorry i can't read your writing

I like that Bangor joke

[Matt_D]

Oh try www.thebestmanspeech.com

[topsparky]

Oh try www.thebestmanspeech.com

cheers matt

[Fat Audi 80]

Having done two, my advice would be try and stay away from the pre prepared speeches if at all possible. Try and alternate between a light hearted joke (that both families or all your friends will get) and some nice sincere lines about the happy couple.

I invented all my own jokes purely based upon things that had happened etc. Ask friends and family for little stories too. Weave that lot together for about 5 minutes and that's it.

HTH

Cheers,

Steve.