and your front door locks are mechanically disabled (how you got into this situation, we won't go it into)

Situation: Your two front doors have mechanical lock issues (won't open with the key turning in the lock).
Furthermore, your battery is dead so the central locking (and unlocking) system pump won't work.
As a result, you can't get into your car to open the hood (bonnet) or access the back seat to put a battery charger on the battery (and get the central locking system to work). Not a good situation. 

One thing you can try is to open the hood (bonnet) from underneath the car using information from this Hood (Bonnet) Release How it works and how to fix it post. If you do get the hood (bonnet) open, then you can charge the battery from the + post on the firewall.
If you can't get the hood open, then all is not lost.
While there might be a mysterious electrical connection box under the car (items 8 and 9 in the diagram below)
(reward offered if anyone finds this), one potential solution is to hook the battery charger positive cable to the thick cable at the starter, as shown in the diagram below (negative cable to the chassis somewhere handy)
:


Situation: Your two front doors have mechanical lock issues (won't open with the key turning in the lock).
Furthermore, your battery is dead so the central locking (and unlocking) system pump won't work.
As a result, you can't get into your car to open the hood (bonnet) or access the back seat to put a battery charger on the battery (and get the central locking system to work). Not a good situation. 

One thing you can try is to open the hood (bonnet) from underneath the car using information from this Hood (Bonnet) Release How it works and how to fix it post. If you do get the hood (bonnet) open, then you can charge the battery from the + post on the firewall.

While there might be a mysterious electrical connection box under the car (items 8 and 9 in the diagram below)
(reward offered if anyone finds this), one potential solution is to hook the battery charger positive cable to the thick cable at the starter, as shown in the diagram below (negative cable to the chassis somewhere handy)
:
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