Hope I don't get in trouble for this.....got it from a friend and thought you lads would find it funny. 
how to shower like a woman.
how to shower like a man.
how to shower like a woman.
- take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry baskets according to lights and darks.
- walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
- if you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
- look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
- get in the shower.
- use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
- wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
- wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
- condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
- wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
- wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
- rinse conditioner off hair.
- shave armpits and legs. turn off shower.
- squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
- spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
- get out of shower.
- dry with towel the size of a small country.
- wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
- return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
- if you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
how to shower like a man.
- take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
- walk naked to the bathroom.
- if you see partner along the way, shake ***** at her making the 'woo-hoo' sound.
- look at your manly physique in the mirror.
- admire the size of your ***** and scratch your bum.
- get in the shower.
- wash your face.
- wash your armpits.
- blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
- fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
- spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
- wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
- wash your hair.
- make a shampoo mohican.
- wee.
- rinse off and get out of shower.
- partially dry off.
- fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
- admire ***** size in mirror again.
- Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
- Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
- If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake ***** at her and make the 'woo-hoo' sound again.
- Throw wet towel on bed.
)
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