BBC 1 Eastbenders, Frank butcher has me in stiches
Just look at the ears on that bloke.
Just look at the ears on that bloke.
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A few months ago, I upgraded from DrinkingMates 4.2 to Girlfriend 1.0 which I had been told for years wouldn't give me any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend 1.0 proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run the new Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0.
Whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does at least come bundled with FreeSexPlus and CleanHouse 2005. Shortly after this upgrade however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and extremely costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge 2. Worse still, these latter products have no Help files, and I have to try and guess what the problem is.
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly requiring Adobe ShoeShop, HandBag Searcher and Hairstyle Express, all of which need to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off. I've recently been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005; it tends to delete all of your money before uninstalling itself.Comment
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GlennComment
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Aah, that's a classic.Ex S2 owner, now running around in an A4 Avant quattro...
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Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?-----He bought himself a ware houseEverything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.--:Albert EinsteinComment
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Day in the life of I.T support staff.Comment
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Doh!Comment
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ROTLMAO x3 Jamo!Leif-Helge
-91 S2 VEMS and Comp Turbo
-12 B** 530XD Touring "S2 parts transporter, and daily driver"Comment
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@ Jamo.
SSComment
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Subject: IBM Mouse Ball replacement
Mouse Balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit).
Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or it should perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls can be replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse can be used immediately.
It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these items.
To re-order, specify one of the following:
P/N 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls
P/N 33F8461 - Foreign Mouse BallsShocked, exhausted, hosed, bushed, dumped, chipped, mounted, filtered, gauged, packed, intermittantly wiped and braked. I mean broken. Now, about the car...Comment
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Mark
Race Clio RS197
S2 Coupe ABY (Green) - RIP
S2 Coupe ABY (Blue) - SoldComment
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Parking Ticket
Working people frequently ask us retired people what we do to make our days interesting.
Well for example, the other day I went into town and went to a shop in the high street. I was only in there for about 5 minutes.
When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I went up to him and said, "Come on mate, how about giving a senior a break?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a Nazi.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having
worn tyres.
So I called him a piece of dog s***.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't give a s***. I came into town by bus.
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.
It's important at my age.Comment
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LOL... that is a clasic!!91 S2 coupé - RIP
98 S8 - Luxury bargeComment
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Not sure about this, but here goes...
Police have today admitted that George Best was not in fact buried in Belfast last week and that in retrospect the decision to cremate him in Hemel Hempstead on Sunday morning might have been a mistake
Ex S2 owner, now running around in an A4 Avant quattro...Comment
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