FIA Ferrari International Assistance

[Fat Audi 80]

I don't think this has been posted already!

Drive a Ferrari?

Not quite good enough at driving?

Are other boys faster than you in the wet?

Then you need:

Ferrari international Assistance (FiA)

This exclusive Ferrari only membership club has many benefits.
Including:

? Anti overtaking assurance
Been overtaken? Feel a bit silly? Don't worry, we'll rule out the other party , even if it's embarrassingly obvious that they're faster than you

? Can't drive in the wet?
Can't cope with a little rain, don't worry. We'll ensure that the other party will lose their position ahead of you, ready for your mediocre inconsistent performance to keep you in the championship.

? Exclusive access to a secret 'second lane' in the pits Just to make things a little bit easier we've arranged a private second lane , just for you

? Overtaken a car by cutting a chicane and NOT giving back your place.
Exclusive offer for Ferrari drivers - you can decide not to give back the position and we won't penalise you for it, just like in Hungary 2006

? Guaranteed world championship?
Had a crash? Need to win the world championship? Don't worry just limp across the track and take off your nearest championship title contender - we'll do the rest

? A bit strapped? Need extra cash?
Simply get one of your team to tell someone else how you make your cars and then we'll make sure they take the rap.

? Bits falling off your car? Looking a bit dangerous?
At Ferrari International Assistance we operate a 'blind eye' policy just for Ferrari drivers

? Been a bit silly? Taken off another driver whilst following the safety car?
It's ok, as long as you didn't hurt yourself. I mean, who are Force India anyway? And how dare they be in front of you

? A bit bored? Want some extra action?
With FIA plus you can take part in a number of 'additional membership activities'

? Want to run some illegal aerodynamics?
No problem, as long as the car is Red, you can have flexing wings, or oversized barge boards anything you like!

? Has your rival come up with a great idea, before you?
One quick telephone call on our free 0800 number and we'll make sure it gets banned overnight. No questions asked.

? Not sure when you might need us next?
Relax. Check out our track record. We're confident that we'll be able to make something up on the spot that will get you out of any pickle that you might find yourself in

For an immediate response you can call our number free of charge. Our Call centre Staff, Bernard, Max and the stewards, are waiting for your call.

Ferrari international Assistance - Making it up as we go along for over 100 years

[S2central.net]

Harsh, poignant and not a small bit hilarious

[s2driveruk]

classic and how true

[Flat on my back]

Wow...

That's the longest time i've spent in the last 15 years being hooked on something to do with F1...

truly

[Rusty]

[Wolfgang]

hey guys,

some things above are definitely true we don´t need to talk about that.

BUT the thing is that in every drivers meeting exactly this point is talked about.

The conclusion in every drivers-meeting is that if somebody goes a shorter way, like hamilton did in spa, the driver isn´t allowed to overtake in or on the way to the next corner.

means in this case hamiltons first "legal" possibility to overtake raikkonen would have been the straight to the Eau Rouge Corner.

In my opinion hamilton wasn´t very clever in that way, he was obvouisly 1-2 seconds a lap faster than raikkonen means he would have had so many more possibilities to overtake the finnish guy.

Especially in this case you can see the lack of experience because of his age and the small number of races he did.

Mark Webber, Eye-Brow-Man Alonso and many more would have been much more clever in this situation.

-----

I´m waiting for Sebastian Vettel to get a good car. In this case he is definetely going to be the first choice after Nico Rosberg, Hamilton and Kovalainen. Can´t wait for the fights between Kov, Rai, Vet, Alo, Ros and don´t forget the two BMW guys...

-----

wolfgang

[MidnightBlueS2]

Harsh, poignant and not a small bit hilarious

[Skull]

hey guys,

some things above are definitely true we don´t need to talk about that.

BUT the thing is that in every drivers meeting exactly this point is talked about.

The conclusion in every drivers-meeting is that if somebody goes a shorter way, like hamilton did in spa, the driver isn´t allowed to overtake in or on the way to the next corner.

means in this case hamiltons first "legal" possibility to overtake raikkonen would have been the straight to the Eau Rouge Corner.

In my opinion hamilton wasn´t very clever in that way, he was obvouisly 1-2 seconds a lap faster than raikkonen means he would have had so many more possibilities to overtake the finnish guy.

Especially in this case you can see the lack of experience because of his age and the small number of races he did.

Mark Webber, Eye-Brow-Man Alonso and many more would have been much more clever in this situation.

-----

I´m waiting for Sebastian Vettel to get a good car. In this case he is definetely going to be the first choice after Nico Rosberg, Hamilton and Kovalainen. Can´t wait for the fights between Kov, Rai, Vet, Alo, Ros and don´t forget the two BMW guys...

-----

wolfgang

maybe what you said is true, but why this rule does not apply to Ferrari drivers?

http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=-5UnPeyzcHM

how much did the shoe maker gain here?

[Wolfgang]

difficult to say something about that, because it´s a different situation.

first of all schumacher was in front and defending his position, schumacher hadn´t had space to go the corner in a normal way, pedro de la rosa used all of the space.

But i agree with you Schumacher had an advantage with the shorter way, like hamilton did.

But we all know the most successful F1 race-driver very well, in this situation he couldn´t give up..

PS: A little bit strange concerning these FIA desicions is the fact that most of the Stewards are Britains. ( Mosley, and all the other guys (the names i can´t remember) )

Perhaps some statements, interviews etc of Ron Dennis.......

wolfgang

[Audi Parts Guru]

PS: A little bit strange concerning these FIA desicions is the fact that most of the Stewards are Britains. ( Mosley, and all the other guys (the names i can´t remember) )

Perhaps some statements, interviews etc of Ron Dennis.......

wolfgang

I think you'll find that most of the stewards are not British, although Molesly and Ecclestone are British, and the sooner they both get out of Formula 1 the better

[HPmuirt]

PS: A little bit strange concerning these FIA desicions is the fact that most of the Stewards are Britains. ( Mosley, and all the other guys)

@Wolfgang: Please read, think about and then re-read the following: -

1. The three race stewards were Nicholas Deschaux, Surinder Thatthi and Yves Bacquelaine....none are British or Italian - This is not a nationality issue (it is a corruption issue). However, none are permanent stewards just FIA members who like to be flown around the world on expenses.

2. Mosley and the 'other guys' to whom you refer are not stewards, they are the FIA board of mis-directors. Bernie is also British, but he is well known to like mixing it up to keep it interesting.

3. When the last permanent steward (Tony Scott-Andrews) retired, Alan Donnelly was appointed by Mosley to act as an 'administrator' of the stewards.

4. Alan Donnelly is also the official representative of FIA President Max Mosley at every Grands prix.

5. The role of the administrator to the stewards is descibed by the FIA as 'mainly concerned with making sure that the process is carried out efficiently and within a reasonable timeframe'. His mandate does not include being part of the stewards decision making process.

6. The only person to interview Hamilton after the race at Spa and before the penalty was awarded was .......... Alan Donnelly The 3 stewards stated that they had no questions for Hamilton.

7. It was Alan Donnelly who pushed the stewards to punish Hamilton at the French GP.

8. Alan Donnelly is also the Executive Chairman of Sovereign Strategy, who work for, amongst others.... FIA, Formula One Management Ltd and Ferrari. They now deny still working for Ferrari but the FIA has (due to pressure about this case) just confirmed that Sovereign Strategy still work for Ferrari, although they state that this is only for the road cars

Also....

9. It was recommended last year to the FIA board that Surinder Thatthi should not be chosen again as a steward. It is believed that he was considered imcompetant.

Now tell me that the FIA is not a corrupt organisation run by a bunch of corrupt sexual deviants who make politicians seem straight and pure

Cheers n

Si

[G60Rallye]

Hamilton is a racing driver Wolfgang, they dont know what the word wait means!

The way i see it is this. When Lewis was forced off the track he was along side Kimi. So if he hadn't been pushed off at the very least he would have been right on Kimi's gearbox down the straight. Where did he end up when he yielded? As soon as its back to how it was before the advantage was gained then thats it, racing is back on right from the first second. None of this wait untill a few corners later!

[rs2jay]

Hamilton is a racing driver Wolfgang, they dont know what the word wait means!

The way i see it is this. When Lewis was forced off the track he was along side Kimi. So if he hadn't been pushed off at the very least he would have been right on Kimi's gearbox down the straight. Where did he end up when he yielded? As soon as its back to how it was before the advantage was gained then thats it, racing is back on right from the first second. None of this wait untill a few corners later!

Plus Charlie Whiting the race director - the man whos decision it is unless the stewards decide to overrule him - confirmed on the radio to Maclaren that the yield by Hamilton was OK. No one should criticise Hamilton for continuing to race having been told he has acceptably given back the place. He gets paid to race after all - and thats what we all want to see.

[Wolfgang]

@Wolfgang: Please read, think about and then re-read the following:

What do you want to say with that???????

My informations about the happening in Spa are different to yours.

I´ve read this: The Stewards of the meeting around Max Mosley and Charlie Whiting decided to punish Hamilton with a 25 sec. penalty after the race because of having an advantage in the bus stop chicane.

No matter about whose informations are right or whatever happened concerning this decision of the stewards in Spa, Hamilton definetely raced against the conclusions of the drivers meeting. And this is the main problem. These rules applie to all drivers also for Mister Lewis Hamilton.

You can agree with me there, right?

It was Alan Donnelly who pushed the stewards to punish Hamilton at the French GP

French GP? What was in Magny Cours?

I can understand that you are in a rage because of the person who is, as it seems, a ferrari paid person, but you should be careful with such statements you can´t proove.

[HPmuirt]

What do you want to say with that???????

Nothing aggressive or sinister matey. I was asking you to re-read was because it is incredible just how corrupt the FIA seems - if you dig a little - it is scary

My informations about the happening in Spa are different to yours.

I´ve read this: The Stewards of the meeting around Max Mosley and Charlie Whiting decided to punish Hamilton with a 25 sec. penalty after the race because of having an advantage in the bus stop chicane.

Our information would certainly seem to be different, since in the official FIA statement and report that I read (pictured below) was only signed by the 3 stewards, as it is supposed to be. No mention was made of Charlie, Mosley or his dog (Donnelly)

3750865815[1].jpg

These rules applie to all drivers also for Mister Lewis Hamilton.

You can agree with me there, right?

Agreed It is just a shame that penalties do not seem to apply to all drivers

Would you agree with me that Massa should have been penalised for running Sutil into the pit lane wall at Valencia? Remember that several GP2 drivers were penalised for this by the same stewards! Of course you would and so did the stewards....they fined him €10,000 rather than hurting his points score with a drive through

Would you agree with me that Kimi should have been penalised for leaving his box before being released and running over his cheif mechanic - fracturing his toe?

but you should be careful with such statements you can´t proove.

Every thing I said is information in the public domain - you just need to know where to look. Why don't you Google Sovereign Strategy and see who their board of directors are? Then look at who their client list is and who has made formal indorcements of the company - the answer to that one is of course Mosley and Bernie

Cheers n

Si